By Sarah Kott, Population Health Manager
In April of 2022, my partner Rae and I started trying to grow our family. I have three biological children, but we both wanted one more heartbeat in the house – and Rae hoped to have a biological child of their own.
We started IVF with a lot of hope, medication, and pressure. I worked two jobs just to afford the fertility insurance that made IVF possible for us. It was stressful, confusing and exhausting, even before pregnancy.
But we made it. We got pregnant with our son, John Bridger – we called him Bridger.
At 18 weeks, during his anatomy scan, we found out he had congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH). We went to Johns Hopkins shortly after and found out he was also missing a chamber of his heart. We were told he could possibly survive one diagnosis, but not both.
The weeks that followed were a blur. We felt numb. We were grieving a son we hadn’t yet lost while the world kept spinning. That same week, we were told our fertility insurance was ending.
Bridger was born on August 22, 2023 – Rainbow Baby Day. A day meant to honor hope after loss. But for us, it became the day we both said hello and goodbye. He was born at 23 weeks. He had the longest fingers, the biggest feet, and looked just like Rae’s little brother. He was so deeply, fiercely loved.
Infertility doesn’t stop when you’re not pregnant. It’s medications, shots, appointments, hormones, planning, praying, hoping and then sometimes, grieving.
This journey has taken us to the edge of heartbreak and back. It strengthened our bond with our girls and reminded us of the power of speaking truth through pain.
We’re now only one week away from another transfer. We’re still here. Still hoping. Still holding space for Bridger.
If you’re in this fight, don’t give up. Talk to your partner. No one else will fully understand this road, but together, you can walk it. And know you’re not alone.