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characted-based abstinence until marriage teen info

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CHARACTER-BASED ABSTINENCE UNTIL MARRIAGE EDUCATION

Home | Teen Information | Parent Information

Teen Information

Abstinence is choosing to wait to have sexual relations until you are in a committed, monogamous, marital relationship. To remain abstinent you must be able to say "No!"
Being able to say "No" is an important life skill.

How To Say No:

Verbally - Use the word "NO" and use a determined tone of voice.  Practice being assertive and not passive or aggressive.

Non-Verbally

  1. Hand gestures and body language - Turn away, move across the room, and use hand gestures. Hold up hand as if to say "stop.” 
  2. Actions - "Actions speak louder than words!"
  3. Dress - What would Grandma say?
  4. Where you go and who will be there 
  5. Like-minded friends - "You are who you hang out with!"
  6. Setting and knowing boundaries


Also, it helps if you have practiced a set of refusal lines which work for you!

For example, if they say:
"If you love me, you'll have sex with me." 
 then you could say something like:
"If you love me, you'll respect my wishes to
wait until marriage and not  pressure me anymore!"

Sometimes it is hard to say NO, but there are many other things you can say to break the moment and draw the line.

Set firm boundaries.  You could say, "Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom." or "I don't want to mess up my hair." or "Why don't we go get a milk shake!" 

Come up with a few lines that will work for you and practice those refusal skills.

YOUTH CAN WAIT!
Abstinence is saying YES to yourself,
not NO to someone else!

Colonial Heights Health Department
P.O. Box 100
Chesterfield, VA  23832
804-751-4365
Robyn.Shapiro@vdh.virginia.gov

 
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